This past week, I have been on retreat.  A dear friend had been picking me up early and taking me to the place for the retreat. 

Yesterday, Easter, I was miserable.  I felt like I was going to blow up.  I was crying almost the whole morning.  I showered, got dressed and told my husband that I had to go and talk to some friends.  He went with me almost reluctantly.  We got to the church that they were working at.  The parking lot was packed.  My husband had to drop me off.  He drove round and around looking for a place to park the car.  I am sure that that pleased him (ha, ha) to no end.  I started walking to the basement of the church.  I got as far as the church gift shop, when I noticed that Bro. Tito was there.  I went to give him a hug and burst into tears.  The poor man was dumbfounded.  There was another lady behind the counter working.  She asked how she could help.  I didn't know what to say, or how to tell her what was wrong.  I didn't know what was wrong.

I started by saying that I had gone on retreat during Holy Week.  The tears keep coming!  I told Tito and this woman that my friend had been taking me all week to the retreat.  Then I started telling them that she hovered way too much over me.  I felt like I was smothering!  She was like a mother hen looking after her chick.  I really couldn't sit where I wanted to sit or go off by myself without her worrying about me.  She really is a very loving and kindhearted person, but I am sixty three years old.  I think that I am old enough to take care of myself. 

Tito listened patiently and then asked me, if I had been pickup by her every morning.  I said yes!  He continued by saying that when he traveled with a friend to Scotland, he was constantly going here, there and everywhere with his friend.  He said that he got very tense and irritable with his friend.  He told me that when he got home, he needed a two week vacation away from him.  When Tito said this to me, I immediately started to feel better.

It wasn't that I felt completely cured, but I felt a sense of relief from just being able to vent about my feelings.  It also made perfect sense.  He said that sometimes when a person is doing something different with a friend, that friend feels responsible that you should have the best experience that you can have.  All I wanted to do was to be with my Lord when I wanted to be with Him.

So even though Easter day has past, I still have the whole Easter Season of fifty days to retreat with my Lord and all of the days after that.

I probably won't see my friend until May 15th, which is our next fraternity meeting. 

That's OK by me for now.  I need the space to process my experience of that Holy Week and to calm myself.

By the way, I never did talk to my friends.  They were busy with an Easter Egg Hunt with the children of the parish.  My husband and I ended up helping with the hunt.  It was a wonderful day after all!

ALLELUIA!  HE IS RISEN!!!!!!