I haven't journaled in quite a while.  I'm not sure how I feel right now.

Ever since the first of November, things have been crazy. 

I went to Mass on All Saints Day at St. Theresa Parish.  The Mass was a Mass of Remembrance for all of the people that had died and had their funerals at the Church this past year.  My adopted Mom was buried from the Church.  I went because my adopted family was going to be there. 

The celebration did not started out very friendly.  The Pastoral Care Minister was not very hospitable.  One of her helpers was a personal friend of mine.  She was so sweet and asked me how I was doing.  We started to chat and were interrupted by the Pastoral Care Minister.  She started yelling at her helper.  After she left, we continued our conversation.  She came back and yelled at me saying that this helper had a job to do and that I should not talk to her.  I think St. Francis would have been on her case very fast.

The Mass was nice enough, although there was allot of Latin Music sung.  I felt like we had gone back to Pre-Vatican times. 

On November 8th, my husband had to go into the hospital for a heart procedure.  A year ago he had two stents inserted into his arteries.  Now the doctor had to replace them.  He told me that if these didn't work, Tom would probably need a bypass.

God were are you?  Please help us!  We need you!

I am not ready to face more sadness.  I feel helpless!

I am missing my Franciscan brothers and sisters.  This past week the National Secular Franciscans were here for a big conference.  Tom and I were at the Franciscan Renewal Center on Tuesday and Wednesday for special celebrations with our Franciscan family.  On Tuesday our Auxiliary Bishop visited with all of us.  He was so very gracious and loving.  He came to meet, pray, eat and celebrate Mass with us.  I was so honored to be asked to bring up the Offertory Gifts during Mass.  It was a wonderful blessing for me.  One of our Franciscan Friars, Brother David received the Peace Award.  After Mass we celebrated with Brother David.

On Wednesday, Tom and I came back to the Franciscan Renewal Center for adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.  What a beautiful experience!!!  I felt such peace and joy.  I can't begin to describe all of the feelings that were going through me.  My God and My All!!!

On Friday, Linda and Tom Raimundo picked me up and brought me to St. Mary's Basilica.  I had volunteered to help with a dinner for the conference participants.  There was so much to do to prepare for this event and there was a Mass at 5:00 p.m. before the dinner.  I was so tired by the end of the evening, but oh so happy to be able to serve my family.  I had to set up fifteen tables with silverware, napkins and holy cards for each person.  Each table was set for eight people.  We had a total of one hundred and twenty people.  We served spaghetti, salad, bread, wine and soda.  We had ice cream and cookies for dessert.  Everyone was so happy and full of spaghetti.  Father Vince sang a couple of Italian songs for everyone.  It was a great evening.

Today, everyone is leaving for their home states.  It is very quiet and a little bit lonesome.  I love the excitement of meeting new people and serving.  Right now I feel a let down.  I feel sad that everything is over.  There was so much preparation for this six day conference and it ended so fast.  I will remember this for the rest of my life. 

What a wonderful week!  What a Blessing!

Tom and I are currently in the process of working on our Catechist Certification for our Diocese.  Eventually the Diocese will expect all of their volunteers, who teach Religious Education to be certified.

Our first class was last night.  The class was on Divine Revelation.  I told Tom that if I had taken this class back when I was in my thirties, I would not have been able to understand anything that was being said.  Now that I am in my sixties and have had experience with Religious Education, Liturgy Classes, RCIA and Bible Study Classes, I was able to participate intelligently with everyone at the class.  This class was so will presented that Tom and I can not wait to go to our next class.  The instructor was a staff member of the Franciscan Renewal Center.  She made the class so interesting, exciting and welcoming.  She asked us to write out our feelings about what our relationship with Jesus means to us.  I know that God loves me.  I know that I am His child.  I would like to share my feelings with you.

"Jesus is my Love and Life.  I speak to Him all day everyday.  In the quiet and in the work.  If I wake from sleep in the middle of the night, He is there with me and in my thoughts.  We talk all the time.  I will never quit talking to Him.  I need Jesus in my life forever.  Jesus, my life is in Your Hands".

Monday and today Tuesday have been very quiet and restful.  Yesterday I put some chicken legs and thighs in the crock pot with some celery and let it cook all day.  Boy, the smell sure made me hungry all day.  I washed the dishes and then relaxed for the rest of the day.  Today, I will wash clothes.  Later, Tom and I are taking our daughter Anne to pickup her car from the mechanics.

This last Sunday, Anne and her daughter Gaby came home from San Diego.  They had gone to Sea World.  Gaby is nine years old and had never been to Sea World.  She had wanted to go there for a long time.  On the way back Anne's car broke down in Gila Bend, Arizona.  Gila Bend is seventy five miles west of Phoenix, were we live.  She called and said that she would need to be picked up.  Tom and I were supposed to be at our formation classes for the Secular Franciscans.  We were upset about missing the class.  We thought that the Devil was keeping us from our class.  He was keeping us away from the love of the Lord and our Community.

We started to pray.  All of a sudden Anne called to say that a friend was going to pick her up.  The friend lived only a half and hour away from Gila Bend.  Praise God!  We made it to our class.

After class we enjoyed the first annual St. Mary's Fall Festival.  The people there are so friendly and hospitable.  We had a fantastic time.  The food and fellowship were awesome.

Even though we have to go with Anne today to Gila Bend to pick up her car.  It will be a new and exciting adventure in our lives.  God spared Anne a huge mechanic bill.  She is happy and that makes us happy too.

We are looking forward to what God has in store for us.

We will be Vigil and Persistent in Prayer.

Today the shock of our friends death has left and grief has set in.  Yesterday I sang at Richard's funeral.  I didn't look at the family at all in the church for fear that I would start crying.  I knew that I had to sing.  That was my gift to his wife, Betty and his family.  The funeral was beautiful and very blessed.  Betty picked out all of the Scripture Readings and the Music.  There were two other singers singing with me.  One was my former Diocesan Chorale Director and the other was a former choir member from the parish were the funeral was held.

The music really spoke of Resurrection and New Life.  Richard and Betty truly believed and still believe that.  Betty is so strong and faith filled.  In their entire married life they lived the Gospel.  Anyone that needed help, financially or needed a place to stay were helped and supported by Richard and Betty.  There was always room at their home.  They never turned anybody away.  Now Tom and I need to be there for Betty.  We need to take care of her.

Today all I want to do is be with Betty.  The tears keep flowing.  I really miss Richard.  All I want to do is be with Betty.

Yesterday was a very busy day.  We are always busy on Sundays.  I really think that we need to rest on the Lord's day.  I'm not sure if that is possible.

We got up at 4:00 a.m. to take our daughter, Marie to work again.  Then we came home and got ready for Mass.  After Mass we started down to St. Mary's to teach R. E.  After classes we went back to the Franciscan Renewal Center where we had gone to Mass for the Profession Ceremony of two men who were taking their final vow for the Secular Franciscan Order.  The Celebration was so beautiful and very simply done that St. Francis was written all over it.  I felt great joy and peace with all of my Franciscan brothers and sisters.  Everyone was full of joy and happiness!

The music was absolutely beautiful.  Father Peter, our Celebrant, was filled with the Holy Spirit.  I felt the presence of God very strongly.

After the Mass, we all went into one of the meeting rooms for refreshments and fellowship.  The day was truly amazing!

Tom and I were exhausted, but thoroughly happy.  We can not wait until we make our profession.  God willing!

I haven't journaled in awhile.  I wasn't in the mood.

I have been reading a book by Murray Bodo, OFM entitled Francis, The Journey and The Dream.  It is written so beautifully and simply that it has keep me interested.  I am not an avid reader like the rest of my family.  It takes me awhile to read a book.  If it isn't interesting, I will quit reading it.  Sometimes I might go back to it, but not very often.  This book is irresistible.  I can't put it down.  I can't wait to be a professed in the SFO.

Today, started out quiet and peaceful.  Tom was working on his Art and I continued to read my book.  At 11:30 the phone rang.  It was my former music director and close friend.  I used to sing in the Diocesan Chorale for ten years.  I had many directors in that time, but Michael was the first director to tell me that I was a good singer.  He had faith in my ability.  He started having me sing solos for big events in the Diocese.  He even chose me to be one of sixteen singers to sing for a prayer service when Mother Teresa of Calcutta came to Phoenix.  I am very grateful that he gifted me with such a wonderful experience.  Today, though, Michael called to tell us that one Tom's and my dearest friends, who we had known for some twenty years had passed away.  Tom and I are devastated.  Richard and his wife Betty were married for over fifty years and were our role models for perfect faith filled union.  Michael invited me to sing for Richard's funeral on Friday, October 15th. 

Excuse me, the phone is ringing.  Betty just called to tell us about Richard's death.  She wasn't sure if Michael had told us and she didn't want us to read about it in the obituaries.  I didn't know what to say to her.  She told me that Richard died peacefully without any pain.  She said that that was a miracle in it self.  The doctor said that it was unheard of not to have pain.  Thank you God for sparing him pain and suffering.  She told me that he died on October 7th.  I told her that he died on the Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary.  She seemed very comforted by me telling her that.  I also told her that I would be singing at the funeral.  She said that she was very happy to hear that.  She said that she had hoped that I could do that.  We didn't stay on the phone to long because her other phone was ringing and she seemed totally exhausted.  I told her that I would see her on Thursday at the Mortuary.

I think right now I am still in shock.  It is hard for me to believe that he is gone.  Richard was so full of energy and joy.  He always had a smile and a hug for us.  He and Betty would take us out to breakfast anytime we were at his Church on a Sunday for Mass.  We always had a terrific time when we were together.  I am comforted to think that Jesus and His Blessed Mother have their arms around Richard right now.

Richard, I love you and I miss you.  May you rest in Peace and Joy!

Until we meet again...........