This past week, I have been on retreat.  A dear friend had been picking me up early and taking me to the place for the retreat. 

Yesterday, Easter, I was miserable.  I felt like I was going to blow up.  I was crying almost the whole morning.  I showered, got dressed and told my husband that I had to go and talk to some friends.  He went with me almost reluctantly.  We got to the church that they were working at.  The parking lot was packed.  My husband had to drop me off.  He drove round and around looking for a place to park the car.  I am sure that that pleased him (ha, ha) to no end.  I started walking to the basement of the church.  I got as far as the church gift shop, when I noticed that Bro. Tito was there.  I went to give him a hug and burst into tears.  The poor man was dumbfounded.  There was another lady behind the counter working.  She asked how she could help.  I didn't know what to say, or how to tell her what was wrong.  I didn't know what was wrong.

I started by saying that I had gone on retreat during Holy Week.  The tears keep coming!  I told Tito and this woman that my friend had been taking me all week to the retreat.  Then I started telling them that she hovered way too much over me.  I felt like I was smothering!  She was like a mother hen looking after her chick.  I really couldn't sit where I wanted to sit or go off by myself without her worrying about me.  She really is a very loving and kindhearted person, but I am sixty three years old.  I think that I am old enough to take care of myself. 

Tito listened patiently and then asked me, if I had been pickup by her every morning.  I said yes!  He continued by saying that when he traveled with a friend to Scotland, he was constantly going here, there and everywhere with his friend.  He said that he got very tense and irritable with his friend.  He told me that when he got home, he needed a two week vacation away from him.  When Tito said this to me, I immediately started to feel better.

It wasn't that I felt completely cured, but I felt a sense of relief from just being able to vent about my feelings.  It also made perfect sense.  He said that sometimes when a person is doing something different with a friend, that friend feels responsible that you should have the best experience that you can have.  All I wanted to do was to be with my Lord when I wanted to be with Him.

So even though Easter day has past, I still have the whole Easter Season of fifty days to retreat with my Lord and all of the days after that.

I probably won't see my friend until May 15th, which is our next fraternity meeting. 

That's OK by me for now.  I need the space to process my experience of that Holy Week and to calm myself.

By the way, I never did talk to my friends.  They were busy with an Easter Egg Hunt with the children of the parish.  My husband and I ended up helping with the hunt.  It was a wonderful day after all!

ALLELUIA!  HE IS RISEN!!!!!!

Today is Holy Thursday.  I have been on a Holy Week Retreat at the Franciscan Renewal Center.  My SFO sister Rosemarie has been picking me up at 6:30, so that we can begin with Mass every morning.  It has been wonderful.

Today there will be no Mass in the morning.  The Triduum starts today.  The Triddum consists of one Liturgy that continues through Easter Vigil, which is Saturday.  Tonight we celebrate Holy Thursday.  This is the night when Jesus had the Last Supper with his Apostles, the washing of the feet and the Sacrament of Eucharist was established.  There is adoration of the Blessed Sacrament until midnight.  At the end of the evening the priest says the celebration will continue tomorrow.  There is no concluding prayer.  On Good Friday, we celebrate our Lord Jesus Christ's Crucifixion.  It is a very solemn evening.  The celebration of the Triduum continues on Saturday evening with the great Easter Vigil.  All the stops are pulled for the beautiful Easter Liturgy. 

The RCIA Elect are welcomed into the Church.  The celebration is about three hours long.  It is filled with readings of God's Word, which is our rich heritage, beautiful music, liturgical movement and last but certainly not least the Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ.

This celebration blows me away.  There is so much prayerfulness, Church History and Scripture in the celebration to experience.

Everyone should experience this celebration at least one time in their life.  My husband and I have been going to Easter Vigil for nineteen years.  We wouldn't have it any other way.

This year we will serve our community as Hospitality Ministers at the Triduum.  It is our way of saying thank you for loving us.

Alleluia, He Is Risen!

How Great Is Our God!!!!

I have been anticipating Easter this week with much joy!  The excitement that I feel is overwhelming!  I can not describe how happy and overflowing my love for God is!  Everyday all I want to do is be with my Lord!

Easter Joy Abounds!!!!

Well, we have now had things happen in threes.  First, I had to have surgery.  Then, I didn't get a payment to the hospital in on time.  They have made us a payment plan that is not a very reasonable amount for our budget.  Then I had it all planned out to pay our property taxes by April 13th.  Well, guess what, our car decided yesterday to quit starting.  We had to have it towed to the tune of $70.00.  Of course, that came out of our savings, which I was trying to save for the property taxes.  I had to transfer over one hundred dollars to cover towing expenses and mechanics fees.  I am sure that that money won't be enough.

I was talking to a friend of ours about how the devil tries to keep my husband and I from having a relationship with God.  She said that sometimes people read it that way, when actually God is trying to get us to trust more in Him for our needs. 

Yesterday, when our car died, I immediately started to pray the rosary, hoping that the car would by some miracle start.  Then I called our daughter to see if she was close by to come and get me because I was getting very tired and very sore from having surgery only three weeks earlier.  I was telling her about my theory about the devil.  She said that maybe this was God's way of having her and I be together for a little while.  She also said that sometimes it is good to ask people for help.  She said that humility is a good lesson.

What I don't understand is why God would want to keep us from paying our property taxes?

Oh, well, time will tell.  I still put my trust in God!

I'm back.....

I had been feeling really good until this past Tuesday.  I started having digestive problems.  Then I got a hemorrhoid.  So today all I have eaten is a scrambled egg and a cup of tea.  I have lost about five pounds in one week.  Today, all I have had is water.  I am trying to rest my bowels.

I have been feeling very sorry for myself.  I have been praying for healing constantly.  My husband and I are supposed to be going on a retreat on Saturday for our formation in the Secular Franciscans.  If the devil is trying to keep us from making our vows on June 13th, he is going to deal with St. Michael the Archangel.  He is a warrior and champion. 

I am not going to let the devil win.  St. Michael will not let that happen either.

Tom, my husband, is making me a little pudding to eat.  I am hoping that I don't get sick from it.  I am so hungry.  Well, we will see how it goes.

God is in charge of my life and health. 

I haven't journaled since March 7th, allot has happened since then.  On March 8th I started to get very sick.  I started having stomach pains.  On March 9th I went to the doctor.  He was ready to put me in the hospital.  We all agreed to wait and see if this illness would pass.  All night long I kept getting up sick to my stomach.  At 3:00 a.m. I couldn't stay in bed any longer.  The pain was getting very severe.  At 6:15, my husband said that we were going to the emergency room.  I spent my time in the emergency room until about 4:00 p.m.  Then I was taken to surgery.  It turned out to be a hernia.

I am getting very close to being professed into the Secular Franciscan Order.  The Profession Ceremony is on June 13th.  I have been thinking that the devil is out to keep me and my husband from reaching our day.  I know that our Lord and Savior is our constant companion.

During my recovery, I have been praying earnestly for protection.  I want to serve my Lord forever.  I do not want anything or anyone to come between me and my Lord.

June 13th will happen for me and my husband.  God loves me and I love Him.

Since Friday, my husband has been sick with a sore throat and cold.  It went from sore throat, to cold, to in his chest.  He has a terrible cough.  He has been sitting up in a recliner to sleep, since Friday. 

Before he left work on Friday, he joked to a co-worker that he was going to take a sick day on Monday.  The job, sometimes, can be very stressful, but he was only joking (he is Irish).  He really wasn't going to take a sick day.  He had no idea that he would really get sick.  He called into the sick line for work this morning.  Well, the co-worker is very angry with him. 

My husband is not out to make people angry.  He is not a fighter.  He is a quiet, gentle, loving person.  He loves God and all His children.  My husband is afraid that he will be reported and will loose his job. 

Please pray for peace and calmness for him.  He needs to recover.

I am worried that he will get depressed.   

We will trust in the Lord!  We will follow Him in everything!